


There Is A Light (That Never Goes Out)

by Imagined



Series: Even Thicker Than Blood [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Parent Loki (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), References to Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but nothing has happened and nothing will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 23:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagined/pseuds/Imagined
Summary: Relationships are more easily broken than Tony used to believe. Rebuilding a family for himself isn’t as easy as he hoped, as Loki and Peter - the two people he cares about most - have a hard time getting along. The ex-Avengers want to return to America, and Tony has to choose how to treat his old family as they ask for his help. It might be easier to be alone, in the long run, but the advantage of having a family that you chose for yourself is that they’ll convince you to stay, in the end.





	There Is A Light (That Never Goes Out)

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write this so much sooner, but all other kinds of stuff came in between. It's here now, though, and I'm very excited to start writing the third part! Title is inspired by The Smiths' _There Is A Light That Never Goes Out_. Enjoy!

‘’Sure, I think we should buy it,’’ Tony says, not even looking up from his phone as he waves his hand at the contract. Pepper, on the other side of the table, sighs. 

‘’Tony, you have to pay attention to these sort of things,’’ she says tightly.

‘’Why?’’ Tony asks. ‘’I’ve got you for that, right? I’m not CEO.’’ He finishes his message to Peter and looks up to his old friend. There are creases in her face that he doesn’t think were there before, and he feels bad for a moment. 

Her face remains blank, though, even as she regards him. It didn’t use to be that way. ‘’No, but your name is still on the side of the building,’’ she says, as if he needs reminding. ‘’You’re a major stakeholder. You’re the head of R&D. Without you, I’m CEO of nothing, Tony. You should be involved in these decisions.’’

‘’Look, Pepper, I made you CEO because I’m crap at this, alright?’’ he says exasperatedly. ‘’If you think we should buy them, buy them. If you think we shouldn’t, then don’t. I really don’t care, and I know I should, but I don’t.’’

Pepper is just about to answering, when a booming voice reaches them. ‘’Tony!’’ He looks over to see Thor, standing in the door opening. There’s a look of worry on his face. Tony shoots a quick look at Pepper, who gives him a curt nod. Tony smiles briefly at her, a gesture of thanks – though he makes a mental note to make FRIDAY buy Pepper some new shoes, as well – and meets Thor in the hallway. 

‘’Thor, what’s up?’’ he asks, putting his hands and his phone in his pockets.

Thor heaves a sigh and starts walking, Tony following him. ‘’Bruce asked me to collect you,’’ he says in a low voice. ‘’There’s some – well, unexpected progress on the other Avengers.’’

Tony stops in his tracks. ‘’What is it?’’ he says, his voice tight. 

‘’Steve called,’’ Thor says. His voice is soft, like he’s apologizing. ‘’He needs help.’’

Tony curses. ‘’Of course,’’ he says bitterly. ‘’Is he still on the line?’’

Thor shrugs, unknowing. Tony sighs, but allows him to be led to the common room. It’s become that ever since the Asgardians moved in – it’s a sort of living room, for Thor, Loki, Bruce, Valkyrie and Tony. He used to be alone, so he considers it an overall improvement. 

Sure enough, Steve’s face is on the flat television, Bruce in conversation with him. They both stop as soon as they see Tony – this doesn’t help to make him any less bitter. Steve has changed, though – he has a messy beard, and there’s a sort of weariness in his eyes that has always been there, but has seemingly increased in intensity.

Tony wishes his heart didn’t bounce in panic as much as it does, seeing Steve again after so long. He wishes he could feel nothing, seeing the blue eyes.

‘’ _Hey, Tony,_ ’’ Steve says, and his voice is full of emotions that Tony doesn’t want to decipher. 

Tony doesn’t want to miss him. It is twice as bad to know that he does. ‘’Steve,’’ he says, neutrally, finally face to face with the man who destroyed his makeshift-family. The man that, apparently, everyone had thought he was in love with.

The man that Tony can’t say of that he wasn’t, even if it was just the idea of him.

‘’Steve called to say that he needs help with something,’’ Bruce says. ‘’He says –‘’

‘’If Rogers has anything to say,’’ Tony says icily, ‘’he can tell me himself, Bruce. Definitely if it’s pressing enough to actually call me.’’

A pregnant silence is in the room for a few seconds. Bruce stares at Tony, Steve stares at Tony, and Tony keeps staring to the wall. He doesn’t want to look at Steve. He doesn’t want to talk to Steve, in fact. Thor is standing there, awkwardly. Tony is glad to have Bruce and Thor back, but they weren’t there, when the Avengers broke up. To them, this fight must sound so unnecessary and useless.

He wishes Loki was here. Loki would probably just unplug the television and grab Tony to get some coffee, and then kiss him until he forgot Steve even existed.

‘’ _You didn’t tell me Bruce and Thor were back_ ,’’ Steve says eventually. He doesn’t sound accusatory, and Tony kind of wants him to be. Just so that Tony can spit it back in his face.

‘’You said to call if I needed you,’’ he says instead. ‘’I don’t need you. Even if I did need you, I wouldn’t call. So get to the point, Rogers. I have better things to do than listen to you.’’

‘’ _Okay._ ’’ Steve sighs, and tells him.

~*~

They’re gathered in the living room. Tony wanted to order pizza, but Peter was coming directly out of school and needed some time, so Bruce decided to kill the time cooking. All the essential people are sitting there. Apart from Tony, who’s pacing around the room. Loki is watching him intently, while Peter sits back on the couch. Vision has come to the Tower for the conversation as well; he regards everyone around him in silence. Tony doesn’t know what he’s thinking.

Thor, Bruce and Valkyrie seem to have the most trouble processing the entire thing. ‘’The Avengers should never have been allowed to break up, Tony,’’ Bruce says. 

‘’You were the one who said we were a time bomb,’’ Tony reminds him. ‘’Back when Loki – well, you know.’’

‘’Thanks,’’ Loki says sarcastically. ‘’I think you shouldn’t help them. They caused this mess for themselves.’’

‘’They’re still our shield brothers,’’ Thor protests, but he’s saying it calmly. ‘’Who is there now, should something befall Earth? Only the six of us? One of us a child?’’

‘’We were with six before, so it’s not that much worse,’’ Tony says. ‘’Peter’s only here for emergencies. And there’s Rhodey. I’ve got a radar for enhanced beings, Thor. If there’s an emergency, there’s enough people who will come. Look, I can smooth this whole thing over, for Steve. I’m just not sure I should.’’

‘’Well, they want to sign the amended version of the Accords, right?’’ Peter chimes in. ‘’So, the whole problem is gone, right?’’

Tony sighs, but it’s Loki who answers. ‘’Steve Rogers is a hypocritical, arrogant man. Why would you even _want_ him to return? This was never about the Sokovia Accords, but about this man’s stance against his teammate. This is about trust.’’

‘’You’re the god of Lies, right?’’ Peter says. Loki narrows his eyes.

‘’Stop it,’’ he says. He doesn’t like this – Peter is like the son he never had, but he has something with Loki now. Loki is the one who keeps him upright, lately, the only one who seems to understand Tony without him having to say a word. He doesn’t want them to get into a fight. Not over Steve Rogers. ‘’You’re right, Peter. Officially, the problem will be solved if he agrees to sign the Accords. The problem is that he knew we wanted to amend it. I’ve always been saying I wanted it amended. Steve ignored me, and worse, he ignored a lot of countries. And then he went full protection mode on his boyfriend from the Middle Ages, who, I should add, we only wanted to interrogate. It’s not a great show of trust, because we know Steve only listens to whatever he wants to hear.’’

‘’But he’s Captain America,’’ Peter says. ‘’I know we had to stop him for a bit, but he’s still a good guy. Shouldn’t we let him join us again?’’

‘’Should we, if we can’t trust him?’’ Tony counters. ‘’Look, Peter, I know what you’re saying. I’m listening. But this is a personal issue. His friend killed my parents, and he didn’t tell me. That’s not – I considered the Avengers family. I know Steve is a good guy, on the inside. Don’t expect me to trust him ever again, though, because I just can’t.’’

It’s silent, for a few minutes. ‘’I say let him rot away,’’ Valkyrie says, and holds up her glass of booze. ‘’That’s not the way a shield brother is supposed to behave.’’

‘’I feel it is in our best interest to let the ex-Avengers return,’’ Vision says. ‘’They are willing to sign the Accords. This solves the original issue. The safety of the world goes above our personal needs or personal trauma.’’

Tony closes his eyes and leans against the walls. Of course Vision would feel like that. He’s an AI, he considers the most logical options first. Thing is, he’s not feeling logical about this. It’s bad enough without taking Tony’s feelings for his old team into consideration. He doesn’t know what he’ll feel if Steve comes back. 

When he opens his eyes again, he finds Loki staring at him intently. Loki gives him a small nod; the god is giving him the final word, in this. Loki will go along with whatever Tony says, and he feels the gratitude swell in his heart.

‘’Alright, I’ll help them,’’ he says. ‘’But I have some conditions.’’

~*~

‘’How do you think they will respond to these?’’ Loki asks him, tracing the words on the paper on which Tony has written his conditions. His other hand is lazily tracing circles on Tony’s belly, as they lie in his bed.

Tony just lets him. He’s gotten used to Loki’s sometimes random displays of affection. If Loki wants to rub his belly tonight, he’ll let him, even if he’s a bit ticklish. ‘’I don’t care,’’ he says.

Loki gives him a look, and stops tracing the figures. ‘’Don’t lie to me. You wouldn’t have bothered with any conditions, if you didn’t care.’’

Tony sags back into the bed. ‘’It doesn’t bother you? Steve returning. You know how I felt about him.’’

Loki rolls his eyes, and presses himself close to Tony. ‘’You told me you merely loved the idea of him, and that you’d have crashed and burned. I told you that I don’t share. Considering one of your conditions is not to be alone with any of the ex-Avengers at any time, I feel that you’re not exactly going to be keen to leave my bed and jump into Steve Rogers’. Now, stop misdirecting my question and answer it. How will _they_ take it?’’

‘’I don’t know,’’ Tony says honestly, and presses a kiss to Loki’s neck. ‘’I doubt they’ll be happy about it. I’m not sure they’ll care. Clint was really mad with me, for whatever reason. I think that if anyone’s going to be annoyed, it’ll be Natasha or Steve.’’

Loki hums, and moves so that he leans over Tony. ‘’There was one question I wanted to ask you.’’

‘’So the ones you just asked, you didn’t want me to answer those?’’ Tony says, smiling despite himself. Loki huffs at him, and pokes his belly before going back to stroking it.

‘’It’s not a question I need you to answer, but it’s one that I want you to think about, if we’re really going to allow them to return. We’re undoubtedly going to have interact with them, so I need you to have thought about this.’’

‘’Sure, but I want a question for a question,’’ Tony says. ‘’Maybe we should get coffee, too, for old time’s sake.’’

Loki presses his lips against Tony’s, only a chaste kiss, and then he pulls back. ‘’Or we can stay here, and get coffee in the morning. Ask your question first.’’

‘’Can you try to get along with Peter?’’ he says. ‘’I feel like you clashed, today, and I know you haven’t talked much. You’re both very important to me, and I don’t want this discussion to remain between you.’’

‘’Fine,’’ Loki shrugs. ‘’I don’t need the conflict. I will try to talk to him, next time he’s around. Now, Tony, before they return, I want you to think about this carefully. What if, perhaps, Steve loved you back?’’

~*~

_What if, perhaps, Steve loved you back?_

The question is still echoing in Tony’s head. He doesn’t know why that is: he knows it won’t change anything. Tony’s feelings for Steve Rogers are complicated, but he knows it’s not love. It’s betrayal, and pain, and another jumble of things that are hard to identify. There’s no childlike adoration, not like there was before. There’s no faraway longing, and there’s definitely no fondness. All of that was left in Siberia.

Tony isn’t going to get together with Steve, or anything. It’s out of the question. He’s with Loki; the god of Mischief is the only one who Tony wants to have in his bedroom. Loki is witty, and smart, and Tony enjoys the way that Loki looks at him, sometimes, like Tony’s an unsolvable enigma in the world and Loki is the only one who can solve it. Tony likes having Loki around him.

Tony’s quickly falling in love with Loki, and both of them know it, so what’s Loki trying to achieve by asking this question?

He’s in the workshop, working on the repulsors. A part of his mind is still focused on the events of the day before, though, and not racing to think of ways to increase the hitting distance.

_What if, perhaps, Steve loved you back?_

It doesn’t matter, Tony decides. It doesn’t matter, because Tony doesn’t love Steve. Not anymore.

~*~

‘’Peter!’’ Tony says. ‘’Wait, you’re going to stick around for dinner, right? Bruce is cooking, so you should.’’

He sees Peter hesitate, even as he’s entering Tony’s workshop. ‘’I don’t know, Tony,’’ he says, and Tony smiles at the use of his first name. Peter still occasionally slips and calls him Mr Stark, but there’s definitely progress here. ‘’I don’t want to intrude.’’

‘’You’re never intruding,’’ Tony says with a dismissive hand. ‘’You should stay, tell me about that girl you like. What’s her name, again?’’

‘’I don’t want to talk about that,’’ Peter says, as his cheeks grow red. Tony loves teasing him, and claps Peter’s shoulder after he’s cleaned his hand with an old rag.

‘’Well,’’ he jokes, ‘’not everyone can be lucky in Love Land. Don’t worry, kid, she’ll notice you soon enough.’’

‘’That’s not the problem. She knows me, but she’s only… I don’t know. It seems like she’s constantly annoyed by me.’’

‘’That’s good!’’ Tony encourages him, as he steers Peter out of the workshop and into the elevator. ‘’You don’t want to know how many people got annoyed at me, when I was your age. Of course, you shouldn’t strive to be me, in that regards. But at least I know that annoyance doesn’t mean they’re not into you, you know?’’

‘’I really, really, don’t want to talk about this,’’ Peter moans.

Tony feels like a true dad, already, and he’s laughing as they enter the kitchen. Bruce is already cooking, Thor assisting him. Valkyrie is nowhere near, but Loki is casually reading a book on the sofa. Bruce turns to greet them, his flashy green apron swirling with his movement. ‘’Hey, Tony, hey, Peter,’’ he says. ‘’When did you get here?’’

‘’Just now, from school,’’ Peter says, wringing his hands, as he sets down his backpack on the floor. ‘’I actually came over to ask something, Tony.’’

‘’Shoot, kid,’’ Tony says, as he walks over to the kitchen. Thor smiles at him in amusement as Tony steals a mushroom from Bruce’s pan. He slightly burns his fingers, but that’s alright. He’s had worse.

‘’Well,’’ Peter starts, ‘’I wanted to know if I could stay over for a week. May’s going on a holiday with a friend, and I kind of had to make her go, because she wanted to stay for me. But if I could just stay here, you know… if that’s a problem, I could also go to Ned’s, that’s fine…’’

‘’Kid, I’ve got a room completely ready for you for whenever you want to stay over,’’ Tony says, licking his finger. ‘’It’s not a problem. In fact, I’d be thrilled. You could help me going over this problem I’m having with my gauntlets, it’ll be good for both of us.’’

‘’Seriously?’’ Peter’s face lights up, and Tony can’t help but smile at him.

Bruce serves dinner, and Valkyrie comes up for it, but Vision doesn’t. Loki sits next to Tony, and is mostly silent, while Peter gets interrogated on life in high school. Especially Thor asks a lot of questions, unfamiliar as he is with the education system. Tony just lets him – Peter is unused to the attention, but Tony doesn’t think it’ll harm him to be in the spotlights. 

Tony’s belly is full, and he’s cosy, and Peter is trying to explain the reasoning behind detention to Thor. Valkyrie is rolling his eyes at them, and pouring herself some more wine, and Loki is rubbing his ankle against Tony’s, while he’s handing him another beer. He’s enjoying himself, and the warmth and the small talk and the way the alcohol settles in his stomach.

‘’Stop getting Tony drunk, Loki,’’ Bruce commands suddenly, but there’s a faint smile playing on his lips, even as he plucks away Tony’s beer and hands it to Thor. ‘’You know he doesn’t have as high a tolerance as you guys do.’’

‘’I’ll do as I please,’’ Loki announces, ‘’and Tony will _let_ me do as I please.’’

Tony grins at him, even as Valkyrie eyes them. ‘’The two of you are sickeningly flirty, you know?’’

‘’It’s a charm,’’ Tony says. ‘’Don’t pretend you and Bruce are anymore clandestine. I’m onto you, you know.’’

Valkyrie only lifts an eyebrow, but Bruce tinges red and readjusts his glasses. It’s a nervous tick of his. ‘’We’re not flirting in public,’’ he says, though, voice unwavering.

Tony shrugs. ‘’Be glad it’s not more than _flirting_ ,’’ he says. ‘’Look, honestly, this is as covert as I’m going to get. It’s me we’re talking about. Also, stop scaring the kid. ’’

Peter just watches them all with big eyes, as Thor laughs.

~*~

Tony doesn’t think much about the consequences of Peter coming to live with them for a week. He figured it wouldn’t be much different, only he’d have his protégée around a bit more.

He didn’t think about any of this.

‘’Get going, kid,’’ he says tiredly, as he knocks on Peter’s door. ‘’You have to leave within ten minutes, or you’re going to miss class.’’

‘’Tired,’’ he hears from inside the room.

To hell with the kid’s privacy. He lost it the moment he asked to stay at Tony’s. He opens the door, only to see Peter still half-asleep, mumbling into his pillow. It’d be adorable, if Tony didn’t need to be at a meeting in half an hour, and traffic isn’t forgiving, at this hour. He’ll have to take the suit, and Pepper will scold him, but at least he’ll be on time.

Which he can’t say for the kid that’s still lying in bed. ‘’Peter, seriously, get up now,’’ he snaps. ‘’Why are you so tired. It’s not like you – oh shit. You spent all night patrolling, didn’t you?’’

‘’Busy night,’’ Peter mumbles, though Tony barely hears him through the pillow.

Tony swears under his breath, and he grabs Peter’s arm – but then the kid rolls away as if burnt, his eyes suddenly wide open. ‘’Peter,’’ Tony breathes, ‘’Shit, are you – you’re hurt? Kid, you have to tell me stuff like this. Shit, show me.’’

‘’I’d rather not,’’ Peter says, wincing. His hair is a mess, sticking up in odd places, and he has shadows under his eyes. 

Tony rises his eyebrows. ‘’If it’s not me, the hospital’s going to have to move here, considering how many doctors I’ll get,’’ he threatens. ‘’You know I will, Pete. C’mon. It’s me.’’

Peter sits up with some effort, and the bruises appear the more the blanket slides off. The entire right side of Peter’s body is mottled blue and green. ‘’I promise it’s not that bad,’’ Peter starts, but one look from Tony shuts him right up.

‘’ _No_ word from you,’’ Tony barks. ‘’FRIDAY, get Bruce here. Right now. Until how late were you gone, Pete? How did this happen? Don’t even _try_ to lie to me.’’

‘’You said ‘no word’,’’ Peter says weakly, but seeing Tony’s gaze, he seems to backtrack from trying to go with the humour-route. ‘’I’m serious, nothing happened. I miscalculated and smashed into a building.’’

‘’How did you miscalculate?’’ Tony demands. ‘’I made you a suit that helps you with this kind of stuff, Peter. How the hell is this an accident? Is there something wrong with the suit? Why didn’t you come to me?’’

‘’No, no, I’m sorry, it’s not the suit, the suit is great! It was just, it was three in the morning, and I was kind of tired, and I must’ve missed the building –‘’

‘’That’s it,’’ Tony says, even as Bruce comes running into the room. ‘’Listen to me right now, Peter. I don’t care how many citizens are in danger, you don’t run yourself ragged like that. You can’t go patrolling each night, and don’t even try to argue with me. Do you see me go out like Iron Man all the time? Huh? No, you don’t, because I know that this sort of thing can do a lot more harm than good, in the long run. You’re exhausted, and today, you’re getting off with bruises. Let’s hope it’s not more than that. But the next time? Next time you might not be that lucky. Next time, you might _kill_ someone with this sort of behaviour. You might kill _yourself_ , and do you have any idea how that would make the rest of us feel? I don’t care what goddamn hero complex you have going on, but you have to sort this out. Because I can’t do it for you.’’

He stands up, shaking his head at Bruce, who’s looking at him somewhat befuddled. Tony’s not sure what expression he has on his face, but he doesn’t think it’s that positive at the moment. ‘’I just –‘’ Peter starts, but Tony isn’t interested.

‘’Save it,’’ he bites. ‘’I’ll make sure you don’t have to go to school this week.’’

‘’Are you going to take the suit again?’’ Peter asks, and his voice is soft.

Tony looks back at the teenager one last time. Peter’s resting on his elbow, looking up at Tony with a hopeless look. He thinks back, to ages ago, the incident with the ferry. He wishes it would’ve taught him what to do; as it is, he’s still not sure what he has to do. He thinks back to hearing about what happened to Peter when he took the suit, and feels the guilt and pain in his heart. 

‘’The suit is yours,’’ he manages to say. ‘’Not mine to take. I just wish you’d learn how to be responsible with it.’’

He leaves.

~*~

Tony takes the Iron Man suit, and manages to get to the meeting only five minutes late. They still stare at him, the thinness of everyone’s mouths clearly voicing how unpleased they are with him, but Tony can’t bring himself to care. He doesn’t take the lead, he doesn’t throw around unnecessary comments; he can see Pepper looking at him, concern growing in her eyes.

Tony doesn’t want it. He hums whenever he needs to, and drums his fingers on the table, but his thoughts aren’t on whatever project the board wants him to start up now. He’s thinking about the bruises on Peter’s body, and the icily cold feeling that had spread through him at the sight of them.

He knows he can’t stop Peter from doing whatever Peter feels he needs to do; history has taught him that much, at least. He won’t take the suit, because he meant what he said: he gave it to the kid. Still, he wishes Peter would just stop this. Stop wearing the suit, stop being harmed all the time. 

Then again, everyone’s already calling him a dad. It’s not surprising that he wants to wrap Peter in a blanket and never let him out his sight again.

He’s so wrapped up in his own mind that he doesn’t even notice the meeting is over until everyone stands up, chairs screeching on the floor. ‘’Tony,’’ Pepper says, ‘’are you alright?’’

‘’Fine,’’ he says. ‘’Just… a lot of my mind, right now.’’

Pepper winces. ‘’Well, that’s tough, because I’m giving you another thing to have on your mind.’’

‘’Pepper, the light of my life, why?’’ he asks. ‘’Haven’t you punished me enough?’’

Her lips twitch, but it would be invisible to anyone but Tony. ‘’Be serious, Tony. I got a message from Natasha.’’ Tony sits up straighter. ‘’They’re coming back. I did everything you asked for, so all the paperwork’s filed and ready to go. It just needs your signature. Are you sure you want to do this?’’

‘’The world may yet need them,’’ Tony says, even as he thinks that personally, he doesn’t. Pepper regards him for a moment, and then nods curtly. She understands the situation as well as he does; still, that doesn’t mean either of them have to like it. Pepper was there, when Tony returned from Siberia. She knows exactly what happened there, in the way Tony hasn’t told it to anyone else.

Pepper knows that Tony has made up his mind, and takes the form out of her bag. It seems odd, to him, that a few black lines printed on the pristine white paper can change his life so much. It’s odd, that some unspoken words, typed up and made physical, have so much power.

She hands Tony a pencil, and he holds it tightly for a moment. It almost breaks under the pressure, but it holds, steady; Tony hopes he will be able to do the same.

He signs.

~*~

Loki is waiting for him, when he gets back. By the expression on his face, Tony knows that whatever the god’s planning on telling him, it’s not anything good.

‘’Tony,’’ he starts as he walks into the living room. No one else is here.

‘’ _Not_ interested right now,’’ he mutters darkly. It may not be fair, but he’s not feeling very fair today. ‘’Whatever you want to say, it can wait.’’

Loki is so silent, while Tony falls flat out on the couch, that he thinks that his lover is gone for the moment. Then fingers start massaging his scalp, and Tony hisses slightly. ‘’When I say that I need to talk to you,’’ Loki starts, ‘’it’s for a reason. I can see that you had a bad day, but this is urgent.’’

There’s some reprimand in his words, and Tony sighs. ‘’Sorry,’’ he says, and the fingers tug at his hair a bit. ‘’Okay, tell me.’’

‘’Firstly, I want you to know that Peter is alright. Bruce looked him over, but he’s not seriously injured. Merely bruised.’’ Tony relaxes a bit at that. Loki continues. ‘’Secondly, I may have upset him.’’

Tony groans, and sits upright. Loki is watching him warily, almost apologetically. ‘’What did you do?’’ he asks.

‘’Peter came to me, after Bruce’s examination. I’m not certain to what he actually wanted to know. First, he inquired after our relationship, which, in hindsight, I could have handled better. He expressed some… doubts. I told him off for interfering, which he didn’t take well. Somehow, it spiralled from there.’’

‘’Loki,’’ Tony says wearily. ‘’You’re the adult, here. Peter’s a grumpy injured teenager.’’

‘’I’ve enough of it,’’ Loki snaps, all of a sudden, and he draws back from Tony. ‘’We’ve been here for long enough for you humans to accept me. _I’ve_ been here long enough. I’ve been trying to prove for months to Thor that I’ve made up my mind, that I’m not suddenly going to turn over and stab all of you. Haven’t all of you killed hundreds? I know your precious monster has, I know my dear fellow Asgardians have, and don’t even let me get started on you. Since I’ve been here, all of you have been treating me as if there would be no surprise to see me going back to before. Now even your little protégée thinks he needs to protect you from me? _I’ve had enough_.’’

Loki is silent for a few moments, staring defiantly at Tony, as if daring him to go against him.

‘’So that’s what this is about?’’ Tony asks quietly. ‘’You think we don’t trust you? That _Peter_ doesn’t trust you? Look, Loki, you know how I feel. I get why you’re done with this. Thing is, Peter doesn’t know you beyond the fact that you almost destroyed New York. We all did bad things, and you’re not the only one who still has to do with the consequences. It’s been only a few years since you weren’t exactly keen on keeping humanity alive, and you’ve only been here for a few months.’’

‘’Five years,’’ Loki responds. ‘’Five years since an attack that I was forced to do.’’

‘’Five years is nothing to you,’’ Tony responds easily. ‘’You can wait it out a bit longer.’’

‘’Five years is enough to know what I want,’’ the god says, and sits down next to Tony. ‘’Not enough, however, to have gained what I lost. I did not mean to upset Peter. I know he merely wants to protect you, but I tire of this, Tony. I tire of not being trusted, of not being of any use, of not knowing what to do and where to go next. If I’ll ever be forgiven. I’ve lost my father, my mother, and my brother still looks at me as if he suspects I’m going to stab him in a minute. Your monster avoids me, and your child doesn’t think I’m worthy of your affection. I have two sons of my own somewhere, and I have no idea where Vali, Narvi or their mother are. I’m afraid to ask Heimdall. What do I have left, Tony? When will I gain something that’s not distrust?’’

‘’You’ve got me,’’ Tony says honestly. Loki presses a kiss to his lips, fleetingly, before pulling away again.

‘’You don’t know how much that means,’’ he says earnestly. ‘’I know there’s a lot going on right now, Tony. I can’t –‘’

‘’No, I’m glad you told me. I’ll talk to Peter, but the two of you need to go somewhere together. You’re both important to me, and I think it’ll be good for you.’’

Loki takes his hand, and nods silently.

Tony sits there with him for a while, leaning against the god. They both have things they need to do; Tony needs to make arrangements for the return of the ex-Avengers, and he needs to check up on Peter, and he needs to call his lawyers, and after that he probably has eleven calls he needs to make to confirm everything. 

Still, they wait together to get a semblance of peace of mind.

~*~

The room is dark and silent, with the curtains closed. It’s the middle of the day, but the sunlight has been blocked out. Tony doesn’t know if he prefers it like this, or if he wants the curtains opened. The darkness only adds to the tense atmosphere in the room, after all, but he doesn’t want to go against Peter’s wishes.

He’s just sitting there, Loki standing at his side, face impassive. Tony wishes he’d show something of what he’s thinking, but that’s a lost cause. Loki has more masks than Tony cares to count, and he knows he’s not nearly seen them all. He wouldn’t even be bothered, if it wasn’t for Peter’s uneasy glances at the god. The teenager is slumped on his bed, half-sitting, half-lying down, looking between them. There’s a closed laptop lying at his feet.

‘’This week hasn’t been easy on me,’’ Tony says. ‘’It wouldn’t have been easy if I only had the ex-Avengers to deal with, but now you’ve been hurt, and it seems like the two of you can’t agree on anything. Which is why Loki agreed, Peter, to spend some time with you so the two of you can get to know each other a little better.’’

‘’I’m sorry?’’ Peter offers, and winces. 

Tony looks at him. ‘’Don’t pull that on me, I don’t really think you’re sorry. Fact is, the two of you are very important to me, and I don’t want to lose either of you. And I can’t stand the continuous bickering. Loki isn’t what you think he is, and there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know. To be honest, I just want the two of you to be civil to each other. Can you do that for me, Peter?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ the teenager sighs. ‘’Did you – um…’’

‘’I called your school and I informed May of what happened. She’s mad, but I convinced her that she doesn’t have to come back yet. So, should I leave the two of you to it? Loki?’’

‘’We’ll be fine, Tony,’’ Loki says, and his voice becomes a bit softer around the end. He turns to press a kiss to Tony’s cheek, before sitting down next to Peter. ‘’And if not, you’ll only be a phone call away, won’t you?’’

‘’Definitely,’’ Tony says, and looks at the two of them sternly. He really hopes they’re going to be able to get along; he’s not sure what he would do otherwise.

He leaves them, walking away, and desperately hoping his newfound family won’t fall apart without even giving him a chance to savour the fact that he managed to find one, at all.

~*~

‘’You’re bothered by something,’’ Valkyrie says. Tony looks up from his laptop, and smiles weakly at Valkyrie in greeting. ‘’Here, this’ll make you feel better.’’ She holds up two cans of beer, throwing one at Tony before he has the chance to answer. He catches it, just barely, as she sits down next to him, opening hers.

‘’It’s nothing for you to worry about,’’ Tony says, opening it. He isn’t really in the mood for drinking, but Valkyrie is a friend now. Besides, maybe he can use the alcohol. He’s been answering emails all evening, trying not to think about Loki and Peter, and how that would be going.

Valkyrie rolls her eyes at him, and the easy camaraderie comes as a welcome distraction. They take sips of their beer in a friendly silence, and Tony closes his laptop to put it away. The Asgardian bumps into his shoulder lightly, and finishes her beer within the minute. 

‘’So,’’ Tony starts. ‘’You and Bruce.’’

Valkyrie huffs out a laugh. ‘’What about it? I’d be more concerned about you and Loki. Is this brooding you’re doing about him? Or is it about this old team of yours?’’

‘’A little bit of both,’’ Tony admits. 

Valkyrie hums, and gets up to get another beer. Tony has barely finished his own, but she doesn’t wait for him to finish to hand over another. Tony knows better than to refuse, so he takes it. ‘’Drink up,’’ she says.

‘’Drinking away our problems?’’ Tony asks with a slight smile.

Valkyrie shrugs. ‘’I have a lot of experience with that. Try me.’’

‘’Oh, I plan to,’’ he answers, and puts the can of beer to his mouth.

~*~

‘’We’ve got to stop meeting like this,’’ Tony slurs. He’s in the kitchen – he’s not sure why, actually – but fact is, he’s sitting there, slumped against the wall. Drinking is easy, being drunk not so much. Still, at least he can be optimistic about everything right now.

Loki crouches in front of him, looking slightly amused. ‘’Is this Val’s doing?’’ he says, his low voice sending shivers through Tony’s body.

‘’I was the one who drank the beers,’’ Tony protests. 

‘’I’m sure you were,’’ Loki hushes him, helping Tony up. His hands are cold on Tony’s arms, and he purposefully falls into Loki’s arms as he gets up. Loki just catches him easily, his arms settling around Tony’s shoulders, pressing a kiss into his hair.

‘’Question for a question?’’ Tony asks. Loki helps him into the kitchen chair, looking at him expectantly.

‘’Let’s,’’ Loki says. He’s not as hesitant as he was the first time they were sitting here, and they were doing the exact same thing. Tony likes that, that he’s more comfortable now. Likes that Loki trusts him this much. 

‘’How did it go?’’ he asks. Loki lets out a startled laugh.

‘’I was going to tell you that,’’ he says. Tony just blinks, so Loki continues. ‘’I think Peter and I understand each other a little better now. I told him how I feel, and he told me how he feels. We’re not quite in agreement over everything – namely, the situation with the Captain – but he understands. He is very mature, for his age. I like him.’’

Tony beams, and feels a worry lift off his chest that he wasn’t even aware heaved on him so much. Loki and Peter need some work, probably, but with the problems out of the way, he’s sure that will work out alright. He just needs to talk to Peter, now, about Loki and the suit and his injuries, but at least one problem is out of the way. Maybe he’s not losing a family all over again.

‘’My turn for a question,’’ Loki says. ‘’Would you like some coffee?’’

Tony smiles. ‘’Yeah.’’

~*~

‘’Question for a question.’’

‘’You don’t have to do that every time you want to ask me something, Tony.’’

‘’Do you like me?’’

There’s some silence. ‘’I think I do, yes. Do you like me, or the idea of me?’’

‘’Like with Steve? No. The idea of you should scare me off. I get nightmares about New York. But you’re – you’re nothing like the idea of you. I like the real you.’’

A soft smile, a peck on the lips. ‘’So do I.’’

~*~

This is it. This is the day the ex-Avengers are returning. Tony has signed contracts, met his lawyers at least four times, and that’s not counting the amount of work that Pepper has had to put in this. It’s not fully Tony’s work, of course, but he has put the wheel in motion at Steve’s request, so most of it has come back to him at some point.

Ross isn’t happy with him for it, but Tony has made sure to minimize his contact with that man anyway. He has his pulls as well, and let’s just say that Ross won’t be Secretary of State for a long time, anymore. Tony may not sell his weapons to the army anymore, but no one wants to displease Tony Stark, or even worse, Pepper Potts and Stark Industries. 

Tony isn’t there to welcome his old team back. He’s set them up in Avengers Compound, with Vision, and he can stay in the new Tower. His lawyers are there to see to their needs, for now, and to explain their rights and restrictions. He wonders what they think of Tony’s conditions. He wonders if he even should care what they think of it – it’s an insurance for him, that’s all. 

‘’Tony?’’ Peter’s voice comes. The kid is still a bit injured, but the bruises aren’t as bad as they were. He moves around like he always has, but Tony hasn’t really talked to him yet, as busy as he’s been with the last arrangements for the ex-Avengers. Loki has talked to Peter, though, as the two of them seem to grow closer every day. Tony, now that he no longer has to worry about the two of them not getting along, wonders if he should be concerned about their developing friendship.

‘’Hey, kid,’’ he says. He’s in the lab. Bruce is there, too, as they’re working together on a electromagnetic shield. It’s a tricky project, but he’s confident they can pull it off. Plus, it helps him to think about science, so he doesn’t have to worry about his old friends. Bruce means to go visit them later, but he doesn’t seem to be in a hurry. Tony is endlessly grateful for the quiet man’s friendship – he knows Bruce is staying for him, now.

Peter looks at what he’s doing, his eyes following Tony’s hands. ‘’Hey, is that –‘’

‘’Yep,’’ Tony pops the ‘p’, grinning. ‘’Want to give some input?’’

He’s not an idiot. He knows Peter wants to talk to him, and they probably should. Peter seriously injured himself, and it could have been much worse, and Tony wants him to be more responsible with his own health. The situation warrants a thoughtful discussion, but honestly, Tony doesn’t feel like it. Peter knows how he feels, and knowing the kid, he’s given it some real thought. 

Tony doesn’t really like talking about his feelings any more than necessary, so he just accepts the hesitant smile Peter gives him as he shuffles closer, asking about the project. He pats the kid on his back, before going to explain what issues they’ve encountered in the realization of it so far.

‘’Thank you, Tony,’’ Peter says, in the middle of Tony’s explanation. ‘’And I promise to be better.’’

‘’That’s all I can ask, kid,’’ he says easily. They don’t waste any more words on the issue as Bruce joins them, muttering about uncooperative maths.

They don’t need to say anything else.

~*~

‘’Question for a question.’’

Tony smiles at Loki, rolling over him. It’s still early in the morning, but they need to be ready to go in less than an hour. ‘’My deal with the devil,’’ he jokes. ‘’Go ahead.’’

‘’Are you nervous?’’ Loki asks.

Tony shrugs, and snuggles closer to his lover, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Loki brings their mouths together, to which Tony answers enthusiastically. Loki’s hand rests on Tony’s bare lower back, pressing him ever closer.

‘’I’m not,’’ Tony says, heavily breathing, as they press apart. ‘’You’ll be there right next to me. They can’t hurt me.’’

‘’I won’t let them,’’ Loki promises, pressing another quick kiss to Tony’s lips before he throws Tony off him, onto the mattress, and gets up. ‘’Your turn.’’

Tony pouts, but follows his lead. ‘’How do you feel about them returning? I mean, you know how I feel, but you haven’t really said a lot about it.’’

Loki smiles at him, as he hoists himself into some black pants. He looks more graceful doing it than he has any right to. ‘’I don’t have any feelings on the matter, except those I have on your behalf. I am annoyed by what they did to you, and I think it unfair that you had to deal with their return. You believe we need them, but I am not so certain. I will be by your side, though.’’

Tony’s glad that Loki and Thor are coming along with him. The ex-Avengers need to be reinstated as actual Avengers, and that means cooperation with the current Avengers, among which Tony is one. Which means that he needs to work together with them again. He’s made sure it’s only a minimum amount of team work, though; the liaison between his current team and the old team is Vision, who’s taken to the task without complaint. 

Thor won’t be coming back as full-time Avenger, now that he’s king and has other duties. He promised to help out every now and then, though, and Tony secretly suspects that Loki will be more than glad to join them sometimes. Loki is protective, and Tony hasn’t had to suit up in the time they’ve been dating, but it’ll happen sometimes. He doesn’t want to know how Loki would react to someone trying to hurt him, but he thinks it won’t be pretty. Loki doesn’t share, and that’s in more than one way.

~*~

‘’Tony,’’ Steve says, as he enters the Compound, Thor and Loki treading behind him. ‘’Thor. Loki.’’

‘’Rogers,’’ Tony answers. The other Avengers aren’t there, only Vision is there beside the Captain. Steve is sitting, before him a stack of papers that Tony vaguely recognizes. He’s probably signed some of those. ‘’Isn’t the rest coming?’’

Seeing Steve gives him a sort of calm that he hasn’t had, before. 

_What if, perhaps, Steve loved you back?_

It doesn’t matter, not anymore. Tony knows how he feels, and he knows what to do about it. The idea of Steve is something he can still admire, but it’s not reality. Steve is a person, a real human being, with flaws and scars of his own. Tony doesn’t need to know what Steve feels, or felt, because they’ve both made the choices that drove them apart. Tony doesn’t need to know, because he knows how Loki feels, and that’s all he needs.

‘’I thought it’d be best if it was just us, for now. It’s good to see you,’’ Steve says hesitantly. ‘’We’ve missed you, Tony.’’

‘’Yeah, well.’’ Tony doesn’t know how to respond. The bitterness he feels towards Steve isn’t what it used to be – it’s leftover hurt, but it’s not stinging. It feels like something he can overcome, and that’s the first thing he realizes. He really doesn’t need them anymore – somewhere along the way, somewhere when Thor and Loki and Valkyrie and Bruce came to him, somewhere when he fell in love and found a new family, he cut off the ties.

He doesn’t need them anymore, and that means he doesn’t need to hurt over them anymore, either.

‘’Are you ready to discuss the future of the Avengers?’’ Vision asks, seemingly to both of them. Loki shuffles so he stands directly behind Tony, and he smiles.

‘’I’m ready,’’ Tony says.

Steve nods, and Tony doesn’t break.

~*~

‘’Hey, kid,’’ Tony says brightly. Peter looks up from where he’s making his homework, and stands up to greet them.

‘’How did it go?’’ he asks eagerly, and Tony laughs as he forces the kid to sit down again.

‘’Don’t worry,’’ he says, ‘’We had a very civil discussion, and no-one was harmed. Physically, at least. We have to meet with the rest of the team in a few days, to discuss everything else. There’s a lot of things to take care of, but it’s going to be fine.’’

‘’Great,’’ Peter says, smiling at him. He opens his mouth to say something else, when Heimdall enters the room.

The atmosphere changes immediately. Tony doesn’t run into Heimdall a lot; he mostly socializes with his fellow Asgardians, and spends most of his time with Thor and Valkyrie when Tony isn’t around. He hasn’t ever seen the golden-eyed man look this solemnly, though. His brows are furrowed together, and it looks like he came as soon as he knew they were here.

‘’Heimdall?’’ Thor asks, his voice low.

‘’I need to speak to Loki,’’ the man says. ‘’It’s urgent.’’

‘’You can tell me right here,’’ Loki says, crossing his arms. Tony knows he isn’t very fond of Heimdall.

Heimdall sighs. ‘’I think it’d really be best –‘’

‘’Speak up,’’ Loki demands.

Heimdall tilts his head, as if looking at something far, far away.

‘’It’s about your sons, Loki. Narvi and Vali. They’re here.’’

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr as [tonystarrks](http://www.tonystarrks.tumblr.com)!


End file.
